Bachelor is open. The road is slick. Don’t be that driver. 

When Mt. Bachelor opened on November 15, it was the earliest the lifts had spun since 1998. That means I got a jump start on being cranky. 

That has nothing to do with the mountain or Powdr Corp. or the way the Skyliner lot fills up hours before it used to back in the Old Timey times when two hand pulled pints at Deschutes with a burger and a side Caesar cost you $12. No, no. Bachelor is one of my favorite places to ski and I’ve skied in about 20 countries. It’s that damn drive up. And it’s not even the drive, really. It’s the people who can’t just chill out that make me a frosty Ebenezer. You know who they are. 

They’re the yahoos who loathe the conga line and inexplicably try to frogger their way up a 20-mile line of cars. They drive too fast for conditions, jamming out to music I hate, and spin off the road in disbelief. (“I wasn’t going fast!”). Most of the time, nothing happens, until it does, and then the rest of us who were at least tolerating doing 45 have to either abort, wait or turn around and go through Sunriver. I hope no one gets hurt but the impatience is enough to make me pop. 

The worst of the bunch, in my grumble opinion, are the drivers who are either too inexperienced, too ignorant or too lazy to be prepared. I sorta get it, though, having been “that guy” myself when I first experienced a proper winter, in Montana, when Bush 1 was president. It didn’t take long for me to learn that a two-wheel drive pickup with bald tires isn’t a great way to get to Bridger. So I made other arrangements. That was the first winter I’d ever heard of AWD. 

Accidents are accidents and not “on purpose-ents.” We live in a place that attracts a lot of people who may arrive in rental cars or in their little two-wheel drive Westsidemobiles. A lot of locals work their asses off just to afford a pass, let alone a $30,000 Suby. And so they set out on Century Drive with an “it’ll be fine” attitude. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. But you have a choice. So, for the love of Ullr, here’s what I’m begging you to do:

Get proper snow tires. 

All-season tires are not proper snow tires. Those “mud and snow” tires, the ones that say M+S on them, are not proper snow tires. Get something like what I’m running this year, Nokian Hakkapeliittas, the “granddaddy of all winter tires,” as the guy at Discount Tire said.  

At the very least, look for the three peak mountain snowflake on your tires. That means they have been verified by a third party to perform in extreme winter conditions. The tread is good, yes, but the rubber compound remains flexible and grippy in cold temperatures. Nokian Tyres even makes an “ice grip” tire that goes a step further, which is what you’d expect from a Finnish company that invented the snow tire. Don’t think you need them? Your AWD or 4WD does nothing to help you stop or turn. That’s up to your tires. 

Studs vs no-studs. 

This is like asking, Deschutes or BBC? Everyone will have an opinion and swear theirs is right. The simple answer: Studs are superior when the road is slick as snot or packed in rock hard snow. But that’s it. Most of the time, like 95 percent of Central Oregon winter driving, proper non-studded snow tires are the way to go. They handle better on dry pavement than most studs do, too.

Slow down. (That means you.)

“Most people try to go too fast,” says Michael Johnson, a retired sheriff’s deputy who taught cops how to drive for years. Brake before you enter a curve, he says. Accelerate after you’ve come out of the curve. When coming downhill, downshift. “If you get the tire sliding and you try to turn, the car is going to just go straight,” he says. “Start managing this weight and energy when you can drive in a straight line, before a corner.”

Take a course.

Johnson offers a “Skid Car” training class with hands-on instruction on how to handle skids and slides using a car set atop a special rig that mimics losing traction. Have a young driver who loves to ski in your family? (I do). Best $100 ever spent.

Leave lots of room.

The person in front of you driving way too slow? Maybe it’s a young driver who’s playing it cautious because they worked all summer to save up for their first car and don’t want to smash it. Maybe it’s a visitor. Maybe that person just doesn’t want to risk making everyone else go around through Sunriver. So chill out. Back off. Enjoy the drive. Breathe. (Bend has classes on that.) You’ll get there a whole two minutes later. Who cares?

Take the bus.

I’ve lobbied for years that we need a ski train but while we’re waiting for that $10 billion idea we have the $7 Mt. Bachelor bus. Don’t have those snow tires? Take the bus. Don’t feel comfortable driving in the snow? Bus! Want to be a lay-arounder and not a zoom-arounder? Stay home and watch ski movies. I mean, take the bus! 

Opening day, I let my daughter skip school. We were giddy as could be until the guy in front me was doing 44 on dry pavement. Still, ever the role model, I backed off. Good thing. My brand new snow tires got a workout near Virginia Meissner, where winter really began. 

You know who didn’t have brand new snow tires? The guy in the white SUV who spun out near Swampy and got stuck in a snowbank. 

The Bachy 500 had begun. 

Keep up with the winter weather cams at Mt. Bachelor, or with our weekly report here.